It's
strange how certain visual images make
extraordinary impressions on you as a
youth, eventually buried in the subconscious
but not forgotten. By serendipity, you'll
cross paths with the image again in adulthood
-- and although it may have lost some
of its impact -- you'll immediately recognize
it as an exhibit in your memory bank gallery.
When you consider the billions of other
photos, drawings, posters, paintings,
etc. you've seen and how few affected
you the same way, it's quite a tribute
to the power of the original.
Like most lads,
Master Manor used to sneak a peek at nudie
mags on occasion. Most were dated; but who
cared, this was "hot stuff." As
could be expected, certain pics captured
the pre-pubescent imagination (even if we
didn't know why). One such photo was an
outdoor shot of several cowgirls wearing
only boots and hats, their backs toward
the camera. Hot damn, if that long-out-of-mind
picture didn't resurface at the vid joint
I worked at a few years ago, cover art for
TONIGHT FOR SURE.
Another example
was a shapely vampiress, strategically placed
spider appliques barely covering her ample
bosom. What a dream gal for a monster-loving
juvenile developing an interest in the feminine
form.
Two months ago, I obtained
MONDO KEYHOLE (thanks, Joe Bob!) and there
was the arachno-doll in all her fleshy glory.
By crazy coincidence, there's a connection
between TONIGHT and MONDO: Jack Hill, director
of the legendary SPIDER BABY and SWITCHBLADE
SISTERS, worked on both films. Funkier still,
he actually appears in the scene with the
MONDO maiden!
Of all the new-to-video releases
I've seen over the past couple years, MONDO
KEYHOLE is easily the most warped. (And
I view lots of freaky features, folks) Not
a documentary despite the title's implication,
MONDO tells the twisted tale of Howard Thorne,
producer and distributor of S&M-laced
porn. But Howard's not only the president
of the Sleaze Club for Men, he's also an
active participant.
Howie's horny and heroined
wife longs for some conjugal comfort, her
hubby always too pooped to pop. Mister T.
have a mistress? Nah, it's nothing as simple
as that. You see, Howard can only get his
jollies if the woman is unwilling. Not a
major surprise, considering he owns a 'Punishment
in Hi-Fi' LP.
The bulk of MONDO's 70-minute
running time consists of Howard stalking
and raping local ladies -- complete with
ultradisturbed narration. Complications
arise when Howard hankers for his wife's
friend and trails the twosome to a costume
party...then mistakenly pulls the rough
stuff on his masked Mrs. One of his earlier
victims, spotting him at the bash, rounds
up her female martial arts neighbor, and
the duo gain revenge by subjecting Howard
to the same torture scenario as in one of
his perv productions.
Peppered with flashy photography
and demento dialogue, MONDO KEYHOLE is one
sick flick, a worthy addition to any cult
collector's library. Oddly enough, although
heaving cleavage abounds, there is no unobscured
nudity in the nut fest. I mean, it's not
like MONDO was going to play any Main St.
bijous -- except, perhaps, in Hell.
One
director of kitschy features that did reach
the mainstream was William Castle, king
of the widely distributed gimmick pics.
Rubber skeletons flew over patrons' heads,
onscreen ghosts were visible through special
"Illusion-O" lenses, viewers were
hypnotized; Bill even rigged theater chairs
to receive minor electrical jolts when THE
TINGLER menaced the audience.
My favorite Castle creepfest
is HOMICIDAL, an oh-my-God-the-girl's-a-boy
gimmicker predating THE CRYING GAME by over
thirty years. You know this baby is going
to be unique from the first reel: a curt
blonde bribes a bellhop to marry her; ceremony
concluded, she whips out a blade and jams
it right into the Justice's belly.
"Emily" is a gal
brought up as guy "Warren," who
reverts to the female guise to murder everyone
standing in the way of cashing in on an
inheritance scam, then slips back into her
male mode as a cover. She's also the nurse
at the place he lives, passing herself off
as his wife; and such a fine crossdresser,
Warren's sister doesn't recognize Emily
as her bro. Stand under?
After the character hacks
its way to the film's finale -- including
chopping the head off a mute wheelchair
woman -- the thespian simultaneously appears
in the closing credits as both a man and
a woman, billed as Jean Arless. Master showman
Castle played up the ambiguity to the hilt,
dropping hints that Jean very well may be
Gene, refusing to expose whether it was
a male playing a female or vice versa. To
add to the mystique, Jean Genie was never
heard from again. Pretty cool, huh?
Several years later, William
Castle (briefly featured in the opening
credits) finally spilled the beans: Jean
Arless was...hey, I'm not going to spoil
it!
Got a junkfilm or topic you'd
like to recommend for review? Interested
in running Manor on Movies in your
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MD 21094-5531.
