Cult DVD | Review by Dan Taylor
The idea of a cooking show
featuring porn stars making their favorite
meals is loaded with potential. In the first
outing, host Colin Malone sleazed his
way into the homes of stars like Houston
and Teri Weigel to watch them attempt things
like Jell-O Shots while he stood around
drinking and getting high. A great concept
sabotaged by the chaos that results from
giving audio-visual equipment to people
that are high. The second installment –
ostensibly centered around a "holiday"
theme – takes us into three new porn
star kitchens, again with hazy, pot-singed
results.
Nakita Kash & Calli Cox
provide viewers with a fractured lesson
in casserole history while attempting to
make Green Bean Casserole. I've known people
who could barely make toast that were successful
in making an edible version of this dish,
yet Kash & Cox only succeed in turning
me off to Cream of Mushroom Soup and making
something that looks unappetizing in any
form. To their, credit, though, they're
not all high and dopey and their small-chested-brunette/big-boobed-blonde
dynamic makes them a bit easier to take.
When Tabitha Stevens answers
the door in mid-toke you know you're in
for a segment that'll quickly disintegrate
into topless depravity. Stevens – who
has a perpetually surprised expression that
suggests "Shannen-Doherty-meets-Lara-Flynn-Boyle"
– doesn't fail to deliver and whips
off her top and squeezes her lactating boobs
mere minutes into baking holiday cookies.
Speaking of baking, Stevens and Malone smoke
constantly as the segment crashes and burns
with the host licking frosting off her body
while she sucks handfuls of the sugary goo
off his hand, all the while plugging her
adult toy store. Fans of car crashes, train
wrecks and other disasters will eat it up.
Unfortunately, the segment
with the most potential – from a cooking
standpoint, at least – includes almost
zero culinary information. Voluptuous Ruby
calls herself spicy and likes spicy food,
so she plans on making Jambalaya and some
Dirty Rice. We see her drain some fat from
the pan and brown some ground beef... and,
well, that's about it. Despite the fact
that she seems to know what the hell she's
doing (even Malone comments how different
the segment is from the Tabitha Stevens
toke-a-thon) we spend more time watching
the busty, giggly porn star shower and skinny-dip.
While the first installment
made me want to kick my TV in, the Holiday
episode gets high marks for featuring genuine
laughs. No pun intended, Even the sleazy
Malone is less annoying this time around.
Frankly, I'm actually intrigued about the
possibilities for a third installment.
