Available
from Mondo Macabro | Review by Dan Taylor
I'll
always have a warm place in my heart for
low-budget movie producer Dick Randall thanks
to his role behind the scenes of the giallo-gore
classic PIECES (where's the DVD for this?!).
Thanks to Mondo Macabro's 'Dick Randall
Collection,' exploitation fans like myself
are getting an even better glimpse of the
guy who brought us five decades worth of
entertaining sleaze like WILD, WILD WORLD
OF JAYNE MANSFIELD, KONG ISLAND, THE GIRL
IN ROOM 2A, FRANKENSTEIN'S CASTLE OF FREAKS
and FOR YOUR HEIGHT ONLY, not to mention
a bevy of Bruce Lee rip-offfs.
The first volume in MM's 'Dick
Randall Collection' (followed by 1990's
LIVING DOLL) features the 1972 giallo FRENCH
SEX MURDERS starring a who's who of Eurotrash
from Jess Franco stalwart Howard Vernon
and SLAUGHTER
HOTEL's Rosalba Neri to sultry Barbara
Bouchet and the voluptuous Anita Ekberg
(looking a bit tranny-ish as the saucy Madame
Collette).
Petty criminal Antoine (Pietro
Martellanza) steals some (cheap looking)
jewelry to fund his night at Madame Collette's
House of Love. Francine (Bouchet) is his
girl of choice and he drapes her with his
booty and promises her more, more, more
if she'll just be his. Unfortunately, her
job as a prostitute gets in the way and
Antoine freaks out, slapping her around
and calling her a "bloody whore"
in an oddly-dubbed Brit accent.
When Francine turns up dead
a short time later – her skull bashed
in by a handy bedside alabaster lamp –
Inspector Pontaine (played in full faux
Bogie mode by Robert Saachi of THE MAN WITH
BOGART'S FACE) suggests that it all seems
pretty cut and dried. Antoine was the last
to see Francine alive and he ran from the
cops when he got to the street. He must
have done it, despite his protests to the
contrary.
Which means, as any good giallotrash
buff knows, he definitely DIDN'T do it.
Regardless, Antoine gets put on trial and
found guilty (in what seems like a matter
of days), sentenced to the guillotine, promises
revenge from beyond the grave, escapes from
prison, and loses his head – literally
– when he blows through the world's
lamest police roadblock. Frenchies.
Will Antoine's death be the
end of the French Sex Murders? Not likely
as we're left with a bevy of suspects/victims
that need to offed in clever and grotesque
fashion for the next 60 minutes. There's
Madame Collette (Ekberg), Antoine's ex-wife
Maryanne (Neri) and her slimy-looking hubbie
Pepi (Rolf Eden who resembles Urge Overkill
lead singer Nash Kato), the trial's quick-to-convict
judge, his head-obsessed professor pal (Vernon),
the professor's assistant, the professor's
daughter (Evelyne Kraft), random sluts,
and even a writer comically named Randall
who has been living at the house of ill
repute researching a book for the sleazy
American market.
Though a bit too leisurely
paced for my taste, THE FRENCH SEX MURDERS
is an interesting curio with the added bonus
of seeing Sacchi doing his Bogart thing.
And that's exactly what he's doing –
being Bogart in a giallo. So, if that idea
piques your interest FRENCH SEX MURDERS
aka THE BOGEYMAN AND THE FRENCH MURDERS
(seriously) is probably worth your time.
Edited by future Italian gore
helmer Bruno Mattei (NIGHT
OF THE ZOMBIES, RATS:
A NIGHT OF TERROR, ZOMBIE
3), the flick features an effective
presentation of its death scenes, with victims
getting their comeuppance via quick, multi-hued
repetitions of their final moments complete
with effects by future Oscar winner Carlo
Rambaldi (ET). A jazzy score courtesy of
Bruno Nicolai (the finale's chase tunage
is a boss treat) and typically overpacked
giallo plot earn this one a recommendation.
Bonus features on the DVD
include a half-hour documentary on Randall's
colorful career which I'm looking forward
to checking out.
