Review by Dan Taylor
I'm
pretty sure this is take six in the HELLRAISER
series, but when you get to this point does
it really matter? The last installment of
the series that I saw had something to do
with time travel or going to space or going
back in time to space. All I know is it
was bad, real bad.
So, why did I select this
generically-titled flick from the shelves?
Ah hell, I don't know. But I swear, the
moment I figure out why I rent these things
is the moment I stop renting these things!
Ashley Laurence returns to
the series as Kirsty, the daughter of Andrew
Robinson from the original flick in the
series which (be prepared to feel old) came
out in 1987. I'm guessing this isn't a sign
that her career is in great shape. (FYI,
other flicks that came out that year include
DEATH WISH 4: THE CRACKDOWN, THE PRINCIPAL
and SLAVE GIRLS FROM BEYOND INFINITY.)
When the car she's riding
in with her husband Trevor (Dean Winters)
plunges off a bridge into a watery grave
he gets out and she doesn't. Trevor lands
in the hospital where he starts having flashes
of guys with bone saws and probes being
inserted into his brain. And if repeated
viewings of RE-ANIMATOR have taught me anything,
the appearance of the bone saw is never,
ever a good thing.
Pretty soon Trevor is having
weird blackouts at work and every skanky
sleaze this side of Cleveland is throwing
themselves at him - the skanky boss, the
tattooed neighbor, the masseuse. Then they're
winding up dead or missing and sometimes
they're alive again.
Think you're confused? Then
you can imagine how Trevor feels when he
starts having flashes of Pinhead (Doug Bradley)
and some of the other Cenobites that turn
up to turn this from a dreadful MEMENTO-esque
horror flick into a dreadful MEMENTO MEETS
HELLRAISER horror flick.
Admittedly, I've never been
a huge fan of the HELLRAISER series and
thought it went into freefall after the
first installment. This stinker isn't the
worst of the series (the space one has to
take that cake) and it's not even the worst
thing I've seen this week (thank you LEGION
OF THE DEAD), but it's still a weak blip
on the horror flick radar.
But will that prevent me from
renting HELLRAISER: INFERNO starring Craig
Sheffer? Not freakin' likely.
