John Singleton's modern-day retelling of SHAFT left me feeling much the same way that Sammy Davis Jr.'s take on the "Theme from SHAFT" (immortalized on 'Golden Throats 2') relates to Isaac Hayes' Oscar-winning tune. The original's a classic, a groundbreaker, a blueprint for all the homages and rip-offs that would emerge in its wake.

The new version? Well, it's a pleasant throwaway. A guilty pleasure to be enjoyed and immediately forgotten. Much like a glass of lemonade on a hot summer day.

In a plot more suited to a two-hour pilot than a major motion picture starring everybody's favorite gun-totin' brother, Sam Jackson's John Shaft (nephew of Richard Roundtree's original JS) starts off wantin' to make the system work. But when the system (and, by association, The Man) repeatedly busts his chops and lets a smug race-killer (played by the Baldwin-like Christian Bale) skip the country and threaten a witness, it's all too much for a brother to take!

Cue Isaac's re-recorded theme as Jackson strides out with simmering indignance. But lookin' sharp, damn sharp.

Filled to the brim with enough variations on the word "fuck" to fill a hundred undergrad linguistics papers, SHAFT 2000 is more than a little schizo. This Shaft doesn't get any (some "sex machine"), yet his way of dealing with a neighborhood gang leader is to beat and pistol-whip him to the point of hospitalization. He wants the system to back him every step of the way, yet he flaunts his authority whenever he gets a chance.

Anyway, SHAFT 2000 is a forgettable throwaway. The few twists can be seen coming a mile away, and the ending seems like the tacked-on nonsense of, well, a two-hour tv pilot. Hell, I half expected the announcer to tell me to stick around for scenes from next week's episode!